Collaborate to Continue

I have to admit, I’m a bit spastic when it comes to my work. As I begin working on a project and I see it forming, I get a jolt of inspiration for another project. I document ideas and blurbs to return to at a later time. I do love the jitters creativity gives me, but I know a timeline is key to completing a project. This is why I love collaborating – it structures accountability on both ends. In any line of work, there are yield signs that slow the process down. It’s important to identify the avenues that halt your process and enlist a collaborator to help you move along.

Create then refine.
Enlisting help is an invitation to revisit the fire that initiated your project. You have to introduce the idea so that your collaborator can meet you where you are. Then, the conversation continues. You begin to ask each other questions to refine the idea. In the end, the idea becomes so clear because it’s being viewed and refined through another perspective than just your own.

Stretch to grow.
Collaborating gives you the freedom to stretch your vision. When you’re working on your own, it’s hard to see your project any other way. It will inevitably lead you to frustration when your work doesn’t resemble what you had initially envisioned. But, I think projects should have a journey and they should mature along that journey. If your work resembles your initial concept, then there’s no growth.

Checkmark and progress.
Sharing the lead allows you to move on to another project. It restricts you from over-obsessing and allows you to call your part “finished.” You then have the opportunity to stay inspired and stay creative. It’s as if you are recycling your energy and injecting it back into your work. Together, you’re breeding new work.

Host Your Life

“All of us must make our own way…we must learn to depend for brief moments on fellow travelers for sanctuary, support and an occasional willingness to walk side by side.” – Brené Brown

When I think of the holidays, I think of the warmth that’s shared in intimate gatherings among the people who know you best. It’s always been my favorite time of year. And especially now that I live in another state away from my family, it’s even more special.

There are certain traits that I have taken from this beloved time of year to my every day. You too can take a bit of this holiday magic and sprinkle it into the rest of your year. Be the host of your life!

You can’t hide when you’re home.
Family understands. That’s what makes coming home feel so right. For a good portion of my life, I compartmentalized my day to day and my life goals. I felt like two different persons. Not many people knew my wholeheartedness; they just knew the version of me that was present in their phase. But I was the one who ended up feeling incomplete. Don’t be ashamed to be honest of who you are and who you intend to be. Feel at home in your skin, no matter where you are.

Be a generous greeter.
Being a host is a generous undertaking, because you prep and prime to open your home to others. But, it’s also about cultivating an experience where guests feel comfortable enough to live in your space for a brief moment and to open their time to share it with you. Treat every person that you’re introduced to as a guest, just as you would in your home. Understand that it is an exchange and you can set the tone.

Give yourself an invitation.
As a host, you labor behind the scenes so the event can unfold seamlessly. But don’t forget to enjoy it, too. Unfold with it. Leave the details behind. You have arrived at this moment, now let go of the tension and join in the festivities.

Everyday life is a series of hosted celebrations. First you must feel at home, so you are naturally inclined to welcome others in to celebrate with you.

Threshold

As we step over the threshold from one year to the next, it’s important to create thresholds for ourselves. Thresholds allow you to see boundaries. Here are three ways you can create a great new year!

1) Grand picture. At the end of 2015, where do you want to see yourself? Work backwards from there and plot those milestones on your calendar. Even if those milestones move along your timeline, at least they are there. They will be constant reminders that they have to get done.

2) Gratitude. Reflect on your last year and be grateful for all the good you did do. The New Year is not a time to hit reset and start fresh. It’s the time to continue the good habits you created and continue to incorporate new ones.

3) Nurture yourself. Pay more attention to yourself. Get to know your weaknesses and strengths, so you know how to improve. If you make a bad decision that sets you back, know that it’s a bad decision and know how to make up for it to keep you prodding along toward your goals.

Don’t dismiss yourself. Don’t dismiss your needs. It’s a lot of work to carry out goals and plans, but it all starts with habits. It can be done. Cheers to healthy habits!

Intimacy

As a singer, songwriter and performer; I’ve always had to get lost in a public place. It’s really a paradox if you think about it. Artists have to share a message that is so profoundly personal and project it into the world. The intention is to share that vulnerability to resonate and relate with others. But first, it must resonate with you.

View fullsize

No matter the craft or journey, we all have to find our message. What story are you trying to tell? You need to create intimacy with yourself to understand who you are. Listen to your voice in a quiet place over and over, so you can become familiar with it and confidently use it.  Freedom comes from embracing your will.

It’s almost like creating a relationship with yourself. Give yourself the time you need to think things through and to listen. So often we rush to seek approval from others, but what about approval from yourself? Don’t neglect your judgment.

Diffuse

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

It’s human instinct to react rather than to act.

Chiming in on someone’s frustration does not help. It’s natural to want to sympathize and share that frustration. But, you have the option to diffuse it. Let it end with you. Really, it’s a matter of looking at it as a challenge. You don’t have to see it as a threat that wants to consume you. If you approach challenges this way, you will find yourself with more peace.

Reacting with frustration will build emotional stress causing your body to release stress hormones that can create various physical reactions such as a fast heartbeat and dizziness. WebMD notes that this can lead to depression or even a heart attack.

The mind is the engine that fuels your body.  When you’re presented with a challenge, take a minute to use and build your analytical skills. Here are three easy steps I find most helpful:

Identify: Try to drill down to identify the issue.
Assess: Assess what are some other ways around the issue.
Act: Act on it to put it to bed.

Give yourself the credit you deserve and solve challenges. Don’t get buried beneath them.

Resistance

The problem with ideas is that they live in your head. Until you work to make your ideas something tangible, they will never be anything more. This is true in art, business and life in general. Think about this. Let’s say you’re on the quest for the perfect match. You have an idea of who you want this person to be. And, you also have an idea of who you want to be. But if the two of you are just ideas, how can you expect anything? You have to be honest with yourself. Work at the weaknesses you want to diminish, so you can expect more.

The only way out is to make steps in another direction. There will always be a resistance. You have to be the one to move. If you stay still, it will pull you and snap you into a gridlock. Carry that resistance and get moving! Naturally, you’ll get stronger and stronger.

These are three ways I try to keep myself accountable:

1) Assess your loyalties. Is your time and devotion reaping you the return you anticipated? A good old-fashioned pros and cons list is always a helpful guide to show you what you need to do.

2) Get creative. Tackle things differently. Don’t be afraid of exercising a newfound perspective. There isn’t just one set way to get things done. Avoid limitations! Keep a running list of ideas on how to excite and vary your daily routine to stimulate growth. Revisit your ideas list monthly. Constant activity will inspire and motivate you to keep moving.

3) Time is a luxury. Though it can be healthy to indulge in stress-relieving guilty pleasures like binge TV watching and social media scans and updates, it should be limited. Keep in mind that stress is also a direct result from not devoting time to your goal. When you’re sincere with yourself, you’ll feel free. Make time to build.

Don’t let your goals wander out of your grasp. Create and harness intimacy between you and your goals. You know what you have to do. Stop lingering. Get up and get moving!

If you have any tips on what you do to keep yourself accountable, I’d love to hear it! Please comment below to let me know.

Cleanse

Lately, I've been fascinated with juicing fruits and vegetables to eat more raw foods. It's refreshing to remove the fillers that weigh you down and to just give your body the core nutrients it needs. Similarly, your spirit needs a cleanse. It's a matter of removing the common layers piled on you by others and yourself through the years to become the purest form of you.

For a while I tried to follow the common routine: work, sleep, relax on weekends and begin again. But, I couldn't ignore the hunger for something more. I have to admit, I'm a planner. I love checklists. When I begin to feel overwhelmed at everything I'm attempting to accomplish, I jot it down to see these "attempts" truly become checked off accomplishments.

But there are some items so large, that they don't seem to fit on a checklist. These are aspirations. These items we carry deep in our souls. Sometimes too deep. But, they are never forgotten. As I have cleansed to re-evaluate myself and where I want to be, I naturally gravitate to chip away at these items. We have to make conscious efforts to move our lives forward in the direction we want. Don't fall asleep on your life!

I truly believe we all have a purpose. Yes, we can train ourselves to ignore it and find something where we feel comfortable and 100% capable of accomplishing. But, I challenge you. I challenge you to expect more from yourself. If you expect, you'll crave it. Ultimately, you'll master and develop it. 

Vision of You

"What do you do?" That wretched question that allows someone to define you based solely on your current stage. It truly is a narrow form of logic.

I've always approached work with a student's perspective: with a motive to acquire newfound knowledge or skills that will push me along in my career. For instance if you take charge of your own bookkeeping, that does not necessarily mean that you one day want to be an accountant. It's just a facet of what you do. It's a matter of understanding the fundamental facets that make the big picture.

You have to often remind yourself of your end goal. Remind yourself that you're navigating to something greater. What is your vision for you?

You may share a piece of your current path with someone else. That someone else may excel and gravitate away toward another path. But remember, the vision may not be the same. Success of any kind is not success of your vision.

People will offer advice and people will judge. It's up to you to define who you are. Build your life for you, not to mirror someone else's version of you.

Admire Your Artistry

I recently watched “Nightmare Factory,” a documentary on Oscar-winning special effects artist Greg Nicotero and his company KNB. Though I’m not a horror film fanatic, I admire the artistry behind it. The attention to detail and life-like prosthetics these artists create are truly and literally otherworldly.

There was a scene in the documentary where Nicotero showed his son a book he himself drew as a child. The book featured drawings of Dracula, a wolf and other monsters. This, to me is a beautiful love story. At a young age, he discovered his innate passion and pursued it to bring these monsters to life. 

Stories like these always ignite my pursuit for my passion. We all have our own set of challenges that make the road a little less than smooth to follow. It’s important to remember, your path creates your character and that each stride is a step closer to bringing your love story to life.

I’m not the same woman I was when I recorded my first album, but that’s the beauty of art—expressing a newfound perspective. My wish for you is to admire your artistry—the complexity that created you.